Friendships are fundamental to our lives – though not always easy to find. Fiona Stubbs meets Hannah Lunn-Courtnell, whose quest for connection led to a thriving community.
FRIENDS. They play a key role in our lives – from feelings of connection and belonging to emotional support to fun and laughter.
But how easy is it, really, to make meaningful friendships – especially when you find yourself in a new place?
This was the dilemma facing Hannah Lunn-Courtnell, when she moved to Chesterfield from Bedfordshire four years ago.
After devastating family loss, Hannah moved north to be near her grandparents and discovered a situation many women in their late 20s and 30s experience.
“As I was approaching my 30s, I found friendships were changing and were hard to sustain,” says Hannah. “Some were having babies, others travelling and others still partying.
“Then when I moved here, I realised how difficult it is to make new female friendships. As a woman, you don’t go up to other women in a bar and say ‘do you want to be my friend?’”
The answer, ultimately, lay in a new career direction and inspiration from her closest family as Hannah built not just individual friendships but a community of supportive, like-minded women.
Initially working in hospitality, Hannah trained as a mat and Reformer Pilates teacher after experiencing both mental and physical benefits of yoga and Pilates.
She went on to set up her own studio, Hannah’s House Pilates, in a garden room at her home in New Whittington… and a new community was born.
It’s been a long, at times heartbreaking, journey for Hannah beginning when her mum, Andrea, was diagnosed with breast cancer.
“I was five when she was first diagnosed,” recalls Hannah. “As a family, we had such a positive mental attitude. My dad would always say we’d focus on positives: that they get you through. After a mastectomy and extensive treatment, mum did get better.”
Hannah completed school and studied Fashion Buying Management at the University of Westminster, graduating with a first-class degree.
But, in her final year of university, she received more devastating news. “My parents were on a tiger safari in India – it was dad’s lifelong dream to do that,” she says. “They’d had the best day, and had seen a tiger, when he fell ill. They were in a jungle, with no immediate access to a hospital. He was in a coma for about eight weeks.”
A bleed on his brain left her dad, Brian, with a traumatic brain injury and needing permanent care.
More heartache was to follow for Hannah. She says: “Mum celebrated 10 years of being cancer-free, but in the 11th year it came back and had spread to several parts of her body. This time she didn’t get better.
“After caring for, and losing, mum my life fell apart. I fell into a deep depression, verging on alcohol addiction to get me through. I was out all the time, partying and drinking – masking my pain as much as possible.
“I was close to suicide, to be honest. My best friend moved in with me, put food in the fridge and looked after me. We’ve drifted [apart] now but I’ll always be grateful. And, because of that, I now know how to be with other people who are struggling with life. I’ve been there.”
In September 2019, Hannah went travelling with her former partner, exploring South East Asia and falling in love with Vietnam before moving on to Australia.
She didn’t enjoy Australia and, with her relationship breaking down, returned to the UK as Covid hit. Travelling and lockdowns had put both physical and emotional distance between Hannah and her family in Chesterfield. But that changed when she received a phone call revealing her grandad, Barrie Lunn, was seriously ill.
Both in their 80s, Barrie and his wife Joyce were well-known locally – Barrie as former head of science at Staveley’s Netherthorpe School and Joyce as former headteacher of Tibshelf Infant School.
Though Barrie’s health improved, Hannah decided to stay in Chesterfield. Joyce passed away in 2022 and Barrie the following year – but they had already proved a catalyst to Hannah’s views of friendship.
“In those last couple of years, I got so close to my grandparents,” she says. “My gran had this amazing circle of female friends – their social life was unmatched! I was hanging out with 80-year-old ladies and loving it. And, because they knew so many people through teaching, we couldn’t go anywhere without people talking to them, which I thought was an incredible achievement.”
With the support of her partner, Alex Ayres, Hannah began to build her holistic Pilates studio and a community around it through monthly events and meet-ups.
“For me, it’s trying to connect everyone,” explains Hannah. “We’ve done walks in Chatsworth, pottery painting, lunches. We go for coffees, share book recommendations. We’re a wholesome bunch of girls – though we like a glass of wine and a dance! We call and text.
“There are people who would never have met – friendships that wouldn’t have been made – if it wasn’t for our community events. We’ve built this community together. It’s come from all of us.”
Hannah says that Manifesting – a theory that we can bring tangible change through positive thoughts, beliefs, emotions and actions – has played a major role in her achievements. She hosted her first Manifesting retreat day, Move and Manifest, in July.
“Some people see it as ‘woo-woo’ but in essence it’s a business plan for life,” she adds. “I turned my life around by Manifesting – and it loops back to my mum.
“She was a powerhouse. She was only about 5ft 4in tall but she dressed boldly and well. She had a big job as a senior food buyer for a global company. She took care of everything and everybody and had a close circle of friends.
“She never let cancer stop her – I’ve known her go from chemo treatment straight back to the office. But I wish that, just once, she’d have let herself just rest. Taken a more holistic approach.”
Hannah gestures to her studio: “She’d have loved this. This is for her – it’s in her honour. When I was in a depression, I wasn’t doing anything she’d have been proud of. But she would be proud now.
“As an only child, I’m quite happy by myself. I’ll take myself out for lunch, etc. But you still need friends – it’s the gossip, the supportive chats, the glass of wine in the sunshine. Do these shoes go with this outfit? Or needing to talk at 3am when life is horrid.
“When I first moved up here, I had to go and look for things to do. I still do that but now it’s about sharing recommendations. And the boys have made friendships too. They’ll hate me saying this but there’s a boyfriends’ club too!”
Editor’s Note: Find out more
at @hannahs.house.pilates or
www.hannahshousepilates.co.uk